ACT 2: ASSASSIN8TION

DIALOGUE

where are we going, exactly?
Don’t be dumb, me! We’re going to kill Examply!
you know you can call me eight, right?
Well, no, because that’s MY nickname. Get your own, bub!
Besides, it doesn’t really matter what I call you, because we’ll only be together for at most 30 minutes.
y r u so weird
You should ask yourself that!
... okay then.
...
so
how are we gonna kill examply?
With a gun, duh! We’ll take him out like they did to all those other historical figures from ages ago!
and then whatll happen? how will i get back to the present day?
You’ll see. :::;)
should i be scared
No? Why would you be? Don’t you have faith in your elders?
ehh i guess
but like im talking to MYSELF here
and i know i can be a bit
weird at times
So? You have faith in YOURSELF, don’t you?
yeah duh
Then have some faith in me, okay?
sure man

DIALOGUE

Well, we’re here!
jeez
its so extravagant
Yeah, crazy huh?
how are we gonna get in? let alone find a good vantage point to shoot him?
I feel like you of all people should know this answer.

DIALOGUE

you have a grappling hook?!
Hell yeah I do.
thats awesome!
I know.
Now, come on! We're burning daylight.

Me and future me scale up the palace and end up inside. You know those booth things they have at theatres? Where they're like upstairs or something like that? We go into one of those things. Future me says it gives us a good view, and they probably know more than I do, so I follow him.

DIALOGUE

This is it, bud! It's finally time to kill that bitch once and for all!!!
woohoo!
Here's the gun. I already loaded it with ammo and stuff. Please try to hit him the first time, k? It's gonna be a pain to kill him afterwards if you miss.
wait IM GONNA SHOOT HIM??
Yeah? This is YOUR challenge, not mine. You have to be the one to make the shot.
but i dont even know how to handle a gun! im gonna miss and hit someone else or something!!!
Come on, don't be a fucking pussy. Just pick up the gun and pull the trigger. Then you can go home. Okay?
...
I said come ON!!! Are you seriously scared right now??
It's not that god damn hard! STOP BEING SCARED!
OKAY OKAY FINE

I hold the gun in my hands. The metal is cold to the touch. All I have to do is pull the trigger. It's not that hard... calm down...

There she blows.

DIALOGUE

GREAT JOB, MY BOY!
That's gonna get you at LEAST top 10! I just KNOW it!
oh my god did i just do that?
Hell yeah you did! Look at him! He's fucking dead!!!!!!!!
...
okay i did your thing
can i go home now
But don't you wanna celebrate?
You just killed a fuckin' dictator!
i want
to go
home
take me home
now
Ugh, fine. I was gonna wait until the afterparty, but I can see you're on a time crunch. I'll just give it to you now I guess.

DIALOGUE

This is the 8ook of Ethos. It contains everything you need to know in order to win at life. Page 65 has the coordinates to the location withholding my own personal time traveling device alongside the settings you need to input in order to go home. If you mess up, that's on you.
… really? thats it?
just a book with coordinates and other useless shit i wont need?
thats so lame.
You’re talking to someone who knows how the rest of your life will play out up to this point in time.
Don’t you think it’d be smart to… I dunno… take my advice maybe?
I’m trying to help you, not hurt you.
So take the book and leave already.
I HAVE a new planet to rule!
um… k then
bye?
Bye, loser. ::::)

END OF ACT 2